Monday, January 31, 2011

And Now a Word from an Angry Bitch

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck. You.

Yes I miss him. You know damn well I miss him and if I ever get my hands on you I'll kill you myself you bastard. Fuck. You.

The Man Who Killed Me

I just got done reading all the way through the saved MSN convo between Ash and the man who killed me.

His name was Dante. He was 21 and was fucking insane.

He told Ash that he was a schizo and lived with his grandmother ever since his father went insane and killed his mother then himself. He also told Ash that he killed me to protect me. He had her hanging on his every word.

The truth is, this Dante was a disgusting piece of shit.

He told his family that mom and dad left him alone in the middle of the night around the age of 13. Said they just up and left him alone. The truth is, Dante lived on his parent's farm in New Jersey. One day he just snapped. He killed them both then threw their bodies in a wood chipper Fargo style, put a bag at the end where the shit flew out and dumped it in the pig's feeding troth. (sp?) Whatever was left was burned over and over until it was just ash, found a way to crush whatever bones were left and spread the remains in a river.

He was sent to live with his grandmother, the only person who would take in his weird ass. All his other family thought he was a creep and they thought the same about the grandmother.

Some time later gradmama died and no one knew. Dante didn't really notice she was dead and the entire time lived with a corpse. Because the rest of the family didn't like them, they never checked in to make sure all was well and no one knew she died. Doesn't help that she lived in the middle of Bumfuck'd Egypt, meaning no close neighbors to report the smell of rotting flesh.

He told me all this before he killed me.

First he knocked me out and kept knocking me out until we arrived to his house. I awoke sitting at a dinner table with him and his grandma (Ugh). It sort of reminded me of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre because I was tied up so I couldn't move.

Then as we... Well mostly he ate, he told me all about his parents. Never said a word about his grandma being dead. He even talked to her. He told me she was old and couldn't move much and had no will to talk. No shit.

He just kept going on and on about himself. Then he stopped and said, "You don't need to tell me who you are. I know all about you."

Then he went on talking about how he took me to save me and how I was going to be his wife and I'd obey him. Ash believe him when he told her he just wanted to save me from the demon, but you know what? He was just jealous. He didn't want the demon to have me because he wanted me for himself.

When I said I didn't want to be with him he got angry and hit me. He screamed at me to take it back but I told him to go fuck himself. I wasn't going to go from being stalked by an unholy creature to being the "property" of a psycho killer. For a while he was pacing the floor thinking of something to do, then he said, "Ok, I'll give you one last chance. You become my wife and obey me and do as I say or I'll..."

And I interrupted him. "You'll what? Make my life a living hell? Good fucking luck, it already is one."

For a while he just stood there with no look on his face, just staring at me... Then he took a knife to me. Stabbed me over and over and finally cutting my throat.

Then I died and came back to life. According to the MSN convo, the "tall one" (demon) came after Dante with the newly risen me at his side. I don't remember it but I killed Dante and somehow got left behind in West Virginia. Weird.

Even weirder is that I don't have any scars where I was stabbed or where my throat was slashed. :\

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I'm Back

Death is weird. I died and went someplace I had never imagined.

It was dark. No walls, no floor. Just a bright light shining down on a few chairs forming a circle.. I was with a group of other people. We all looked at each other with confusion on our faces. Then a man came out of the darkness and stood in the center of the light. He looked like one of those laid back hippies you'd find in Amsterdam smoking pot and listening to Bob Marley. Dirty blond dreadlocks and all.. He asked us all to sit down and we did.

He welcomed us to what he called "The Support Group for the Newly Dead" and it made me think about the Handbook for the Recently Deceased from Beatlejuice. He knew all our names but asked us to introduce ourselves to the rest of the group.

The first person to do so was a young man about in his 20's. He was shaved bald and had tattoos all over himself, including a swastika on the side of his head and the words "white power" on his forearm. His name was Adolf Joseph Hart. Said it was obvious by looking at his tattoos why he was named that. Said he was raised to believe he was superior to all the "blackies" and jews. But he said the reason he died was because toward the end of his life he was starting to realize what an idiotic thing that was to think. His brother had killed him when he found out Adolf was going to remove his tattoos and back out of the neo-nazi lifestyle.

The next was a little black girl. Her head was also shaved but not as close as Adolf's. She didn't speak much English so the man with the dreadlocks acted as her interpreter. I can't remember her name. It was a bit hard to pronounce and I'm no good with odd names. Anyway, she was only 8 years old and she was sold into slavery in her home country some place in Africa. Her master killed her when she tried to fight him off as he raped her.

Then there was Lucy. She was a 20 year old suicide victim. Lived a life so horrible I don't even want to repeat her story. Sorry.

After her was Edgar. He was an old man who from the moment I saw him I knew something wasn't right about him. He refused to talk so the man with the dreadlocks did it for him. Edgar was once am elementary school turned serial killer. He was never caught but when the police find his body in the lazy chair where he died, they'll find that his house was a crime scene containing around 5 bodies, his yard hiding around a dozen more and the surrounding woods hiding only God knows how many more on top of that.

After him was me. Even dead no one believed the story.

Final the man with dreadlocks introduced himself as Michael and that was it. No reason for being there. He was Michael and he was there and that's all we needed to know.

He talked for what felt like hours, mostly about the afterlife and what it hold for each of us. He described Heaven and it sounds much more amazing than the Bible ever made it sound. And Hell, so much worse than anyone could imagine.

After the meeting was over, we all stood up and he addressed us one by one and assigned us a destination.

The little tribal girl and Lucy were were sent to Heaven, the nazi was given a second chance at life to show he really can change, Edgar went to hell and Michael said I needed to stay so we could talk a little bit more.

"It's not your time," he said once everyone was gone.
"I don't know what you mean," I replied.
"You shouldn't even be here. As a matter of fact, you never should have been put in this situation."
"What situation? Death or whatever the heck's been happening to me since September?"
"Both."

I sat back in my chair and looked down at my hands. I must have started crying because he sat next to me and hugged me. "I don't care if it's my time. Can't I just cross over or whatever the hell it is I'm supposed to do? I don't want to do this anymore."

He chuckled and looked up at the light shining down. "Nope. It's not your time. Can't cross over unless it's your time."
"So what are you going to do, send me back?"
"Yep."
"When?"
He looked over at me, smiled and said, "Right about..... Now."

Then I woke up in a bed in a dark room. I could hear something moving around. I was a big dog. At one point it came over to me, go up in my face and licked my nose. Thanks, doggie. I love you too.

I fell back asleep and woke up to a very tall man, with a face, staring down at me. He had to be at least 7 feet tall, if not taller. He had long brown hair and a face sort of like a vulture, big nose and beady eyes. Also, the dog, a mastiff, had crawled up into bed with me and was staring at me like this: O____O

"Good mornin' Sleepin' Beauty," the man said. "Feel like eatin' breakfast?"

At this point I didn't feel like doing anything other than going back to bed but I accepted his offer of breakfast without question and followed him into a kitchen.

Sausage gravy and biscuits. This could only mean one thing.... "What state are we in?" I asked.
"West Virginia," he replied.
Yep. Knew it.

"How did you find me?" I asked.
"My wife found ya up in the woods behind the house. You were knocked out cold and wrapped up in a bloody sheet."

I just looked down at my biscuit and silently nodded.

"You know how ya got here?"

I shook my head.

The mastiff put his head in my lap, nearly crushing my legs, and grunted as he looked up at me. I like mastiffs. They're big and sweet. "Whats his name?"
"Budders," the man replied.
"And yours?"
"Jason. You?"
I thought for a minuet. Should I really give him my name? Ah screw it. "Alexa."
"Well Alexa, where are you from?"
"Delaware." I lied.
"I wanna know how you ended up here. And so will the sheriff when he comes here."
"I don't know, I just... Sheriff?"
"Yep. He's coming to check you out, see if you're ok and then take a statement. People don't just show up in other people's yard wrapped in bloody sheets."

I thought quick. I wasn't going to tell Jason about what's all been happening.

"It was my pimp," I said.
Jason sort of choked on his coffee and looked at me like I had arms coming out my ears. "Pimp?"
"I didn't choose to become a prostitute, it just sort of happened. Ran away from an abusive home and fell in with the wrong crowd."
"Ok, but why did your pimp dump you here?"
"Because I ran. I didn't want to be a whore anymore and I ran away. He caught up and tried to kill me and I guess he just dumped me here."

The rest of breakfast was silent and that lie made me feel like I needed a cold shower.

Around noon the sheriff came along. Questioned me. Offered to take me to a hospital but I declined. Then he asked if I needed a place to stay. I said yes, but I didn't want to stay at a homeless shelter or woman's shelter. Too dangerous for a "girl like me."

So Jason's wife Lilly said I could stay here for as long as I want. I accepted. I also won't say where "here" is. I don't want that freak who killed me to come after me again.

Monday, January 24, 2011

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Friday, January 21, 2011

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Monday, January 17, 2011

it was a trap

that bitch. how could she do this to me? i followed him with her in his arms to the warehouse and i went in and theres no other rooms it's all one fucking room! no red door they just vanished.

fuckfuckfuckfuck.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

she's gone

she's gone he took her i saw him i'm going to kill him she'll decompose if she's not kept cold. damn him damn him damn him!

SHE'S MINE!

Friday, January 14, 2011

i'm sorry

when i found out she was here i searched for her.

i wanted to see her.
i found her.
i thought about talking to her but i decided not to.
i watched her from a distance.

she was so pretty. most men want a sick figure girl who wear more makeup than a drag queen but not me. i wanted her. he was on the thicker side and her skin was naturally beautiful.

so pretty.

and that bastard came along and she took to him. i wanted that to be me. me she cuddled up with.

then the bastard put her up in a ratty little motel and vanished and so did she.

when she came back i tried to tell her he was gone. i saw him and the tall on. the tall one killed him.

she was confused. she wanted to know who i was and i told her everything.

she got scared and tried to run and i told her it was dangerous that the tall man is looking for her but she tried to run and i had to stop her.

i didn't want him to have her.

i did it and i'm sorry and now i regret it.

she's with me now. i wrapped her up real nice. the snow kept her cold and now so does the freezer and when the spring comes i'll give her a nice resting spot somewhere in the park. it's pretty there in the spring. not far from the zoo so she can see the animals every day.

i'm sorry. i shouldn't have done it but now she's safe.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

37

I don't really know whats going on.

I'll start by saying that the Plague Doctor is a friend. He was protecting me. When it started getting too cold he'd come and find me and wrap me up in that cape thing. I'd fall asleep in his arms. Then one day I woke up in a motel room. He rented a room for me to stay in.

We both stayed there for a while. I can't remember what happened after that. I woke up what felt like a year ago in thick woods. I walked around in it for what felt like days. Then I found myself walking along train tracks. They led to a concrete factory.

I looked across the woods from the factory and saw a trailer park. By now I had no clue where I was. I didn't know if I was in another state or just another town. I walked along the woods a bit more. Around the trailer park/concrete factory they're not nearly as thick as as when I was in the endless woods. Once I got to the end of them I saw that I was next to a road.

For some reason I looked to the side and found my suitcase sitting next to a tree with all my things in it. Then I looked up. There was a camera tied to a branch about 15 feet up. I couldn't reach it. I'm clumsy and uncoordinated and wasn't about to try to climb the tree to get it.

So now I'm in a library. I'm still in Delaware, thank God. I'm going to try to find that hotel we were in. I'm sad that I missed Christmas and New Years. Not that I would have done anything special.... Whatever....